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Look guys, if you're just going to stare at me, I'm going to bed!
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" Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything. "
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" Wal-mart... do they like make walls there? "
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" If I really got my ribs removed, I would have been busy sucking my own dick on the wonder years instead of chasing winnie cooper. Besides, I wouldn't have sucked other people's dicks on stage, either. I would have been sucking my own. Plus, who really has time to be killing puppies when you can be sucking your own dick? I think I'm gonna call the surgeon in the morning. "
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" About 100 things that your kid will do that will surprise you and break your heart and it will be a combination of fact based therapy, medically advised kinds of passages accompanied by celebrity anecdotes and just some funny stuff to lighten the load. "
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" Listen, everyone is entitled to my opinion. "
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